An Introduction to The Big Time

It's Wednesday, which means it's time for another post. That's a good thing, right? I think so...I love opportunities to talk and have people listen. Or write and have people read, in this case. I think I'll start off by linking you up to today's Song of the Day...it's by Daft Punk, of course. I'm telling you, this ElecTRONica thing is really going to my head...you should listen to it while you read! Great idea!



Well, I'm now quite a few weeks into the program (8 weeks, I think), and the question all across the board has been "What are you going to do next?" Well, the whole "I'm going to Disneyland" line is pretty played out now, and life is forcing me to put on the big-boy pants and make some pretty tough decisions. When the program started it seemed like January 2nd was an eternity away, but the seasons are already starting to change, and winter is bringing a ton of opportunities and challenges with it. After all, once the program ends I don't have good 'ol Eastern Illinois University to run back to...I've already got my degree. And a TON of student loans. Welcome to the big time, right?


I want YOU to pay back your student loans...or else...

So, I've started making a list of stipulations that my next professional decision has to fulfill. I don't want to end up having a career in something that I hate, and I want to make sure that I make enough money to enjoy life (which can be pretty difficult when you have a BA in English), so I want to steer my life in a direction that does both of those things. These stipulations include:

• Must push towards a productive career in writing
• Must provide ample time to do writing for pleasure
• Must provide enough money to start paying back debts
• Must move UP the ladder, not sideways

I understand that the last stipulation is going to be a hard one to fulfill, as the job market right now is TERRIBLE and it could take a whole lot to start climbing any sort of professional ladder. But the way I see it, I've got a degree, a pretty stocked resume, tons of charisma and charm, and a pretty great writing style to boot. I think that if I market myself correctly and make some of the right connections here at Disney or wherever else, I should be alright. And let's not forget that I'm a recent graduate, so I work CHEAP!


Notice that they're all 1-dollar bills. I don't mind working for those, so long as they come in large enough quantities... (Note: I wonder if this is really how rappers make it rain...)

So, considering all of that, I've nailed down the list of possibilities to these:

• Find a job (perhaps out here on the West Coast, but honestly wherever) doing editing, script-writing, or game journalism
• Go to grad school and get a stipend that lets me live and pay back student loans
• Go home and get a real job that makes enough money to pay bills, and focus on writing books

I think that I ended up listing those ideas in order of preference, though I have to admit that each of those options has some really great pros that the others don't have. Option one, working right now in some sort of writing-related industry, would finally give me the introductory experience that employers are looking for in more advanced jobs. Not to mention I've been DYING to get a chance to really stretch my creative wings on a project that actually gets some sight time in the public eye. Option two sends me on the track to an MFA in Creative Writing and (hopefully) gives me increased marketability.

Option three somewhat caters to the dreamer in me, the part that believes that if I just really buckled down and wrote a book series, it'd be a best-seller and I'd be loved and adored by millions of readers worldwide...if only I had the time and the inspiration. But I also acknowledge the fact that the option in question really caters to the realist in me, the part that feels like I'll never really hit it big, never become the famous writer I want to, never break into the literary market as anything other than a possible footnote. And therein lies a lot of the problems I'm confronting as I speed on through the program...


Figures I'd get the piss cup.

I think part of what makes this whole "growing up" thing so difficult is learning how to confront "reality" and overcome it, if that makes sense. There's a part of me that keeps saying, "Josh, you'll never make it. You're too scatterbrained, you don't follow through on ideas, and you NEVER focus on your writing. People out there with more talent are certainly doing better than you, and there are even people out there with less talent who at least have more drive than you, and they deserve what they're getting. You should get ready to bag groceries." By the way, I've bagged groceries, and though I did it at a pretty great company (shout-out to GFS Marketplace!), I really want to expand. (By the way, if you look REALLY hard you can see my ego showing through my self-denigration! YAY! :) )

But honestly, I've decided that I'm pretty sick of listening to that realist in me. I think I'd rather fail really hard in writing than succeed in mediocrity, so I'm slowly taking steps to establish a more credible, stable me. These steps include:

• Making schedules and sticking to them
• Spending time with productive people to inspire productivity in myself
• Carrying a small notebook to record writing ideas (Great birthday gift, Kelsey!)
• Keeping in contact with friends and family to stabilize myself
• Writing more often in whatever way I can
• Making lists to showcase my list-making abilities

I've started trying to write more for the news site that I work for, 411mania Games. Even if it's just putting together a news article or two once or twice a week, that still keeps me in the mode of writing and processing gaming news. And recording the writing ideas at least gives me a solid resource to go back to...and it reminds me that I AM creative, that I have a lot that I can put on the table. I consider it my playbook, hehe.

I feel like I spend a lot of time trying to get the answers from other people, but now I think I just need to check my own playbook, both physically and metaphorically speaking, to get the answers I'm looking for. Maybe we all just need our own playbooks to find the answers we're looking for? Food for thought! G'night all, and see you on Sunday!


You know what food is delicious? Chinese food. I'm getting some tomorrow.